تبلیغات
/* Theme Name: styalus Theme URI: http://www.themespack.com/ Description: wordpress Themes styalus by Themes Pack |Blogging tips & tricks Author: Wonder Author URI: http://www.wordpresssite.com/ This theme was designed and built by www.themespack.com The CSS, XHTML and design is released under GPL http://www.opensource.org/licenses/gpl-license.php */ body { font: 12px/18px "Tahoma", Geneva, Arial, Verdana, sans-serif; color: #27013A; background: #5a626d; color: #545c66; margin: 0px; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; text-align:center; } a { color: #4183d3; text-decoration: none; } a:visited { color: #4183d3; text-decoration: none; } a:hover { color: #f89406; text-decoration: none; } img { border: none; } p { padding: 0px 0px 15px; margin: 0px; } h1 { text-indent:0px; margin:0; padding:0; text-align:right; font-family:arial; } h1 a{ display:block; background:url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/logo.jpg) no-repeat left; height:55px; border: none; } h1 a:visited { color:#545C66; } h2 { color: #4f89d2; margin:0px; letter-spacing: 0px; padding-top:2px; padding-bottom:0px; padding-left:1px; font: bold 17px "Verdana", Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; background:transparent; border:none; } h2 a, h2 a:visited { color: #4f89d2; text-decoration: none; } h2 a:hover { color: #000000; text-decoration: none; } h3 { font: normal 16px "Arial", Tahoma, Arial; color: #545c66; margin: 10px 0px 5px; background-image:url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/dots.gif); background-position:bottom left; background-repeat:repeat-x; } h3 a, h3 a:visited { color: #545c66; text-decoration: none; } h3 a:hover { color: #545c66; text-decoration: none; } h4 { font: normal 130%/100% "Trebuchet MS", Tahoma, Arial; color: #545c66; margin: 10px 0px 5px; background-image:url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/dots.gif); background-position:bottom left; background-repeat:repeat-x; } #page { margin: 0px auto; width: 980px; background: #ffffff url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/pbg.jpg) repeat-x; border:5px solid #646e7b; } /* header area */ #header { background: url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/header.jpg); height: 75px; border-top: 26px solid #646e7b; border-bottom:none; position: relative; } #headerlogo { position: relative; padding:0px 15px 0px 0px; height: 60px; } #headerlogo .description { position: absolute; right: 215px; bottom: 3px; color: #ffffff; text-indent:0px; top:50px; } #headerlogo #logo_txt{ float:right; width:500px; height:40px; padding-top:20px; font-size:12px; } #headerlogo #logo_txt h1{ color:#545C66; direction:rtl; font-family:arial,verdana; font-size:25px; overflow:hidden; padding:5px; white-space:nowrap; width:545px; } #headerlogo #logo_img{ float:right; width:200px; height:55px; padding:2px; text-align:center; } #google{ margin: 0px ; right: 20px; float: right; position: absolute; top:20px; } #nav { list-style: none; margin: 0px; position: absolute; background:transparent; right: 10px; top:-26px; } #nav li { float:right; margin-right:1px; } #nav .current_page_item a:visited{ color: #000000; text-decoration: none; background:url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/nav.jpg) repeat-x; text-transform:uppercase; } #nav .page_item a{ color: #ffffff; text-decoration: none; background:url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/navbg.jpg) repeat-x; padding: 7px 11px; font: 12px/100% Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; display: block; border-right:1px solid #646e7b; border-left:1px solid #646e7b; text-transform:uppercase; } #nav .current_page_item a,#nav .page_item a:hover { color: #ffffff; text-decoration: none; background:url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/navbgh.jpg) repeat-x; padding: 7px 11px; font: 12px/100% Tahoma, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; display: block; border-right:1px solid #545c66; border-left:1px solid #545c66; text-transform:uppercase; } /* content */ #content { padding: 32px 5px 0px 10px; float: left; width: 610px; margin:5px 0 5px 0px; overflow: hidden; border: none; text-align:right; direction:rtl; } .post { clear:both; margin-top: 40px; } .entry { float:left; width: 605px; } .entrys { float:left; width: 260px; } .blockquote{ margin: 5px; padding: 5px; background:transparent; color:#0a3455; border-bottom:1px solid #0b497b; border-top:1px solid #0b497b; } .post-bottom { background:transparent; padding:5px 7px 0px 7px; margin-top:13px; float:right; font-size: 95%; color: #888888; width:590px; direction:rtl; } .post-small { padding-left: 2px; float:left; font-size: 95%; color: #033c93; } .postmetadata { color: #000000; font-size:12px; padding:8px; background: #ffffff url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/meta.jpg) repeat-x; height:18px; } .postmetadatap { color: #777777; font-size:14px; padding:8px; background:#ffffff; height:60px; border:1px dashed #262626 ; } .postrss{ color: #666666; font-size:13px; padding: 3mm; border: thin dotted #444444; font: verdana; } .post-comments { background: #ffffff url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/com.gif) no-repeat; padding-left: 20px; float: right; font-size: 95%; } .post-calendar { background: #ffffff; padding-left: 20px; float: right; font-size: 95%; color: #618024; } .googlef{ width:525px; float:left; color:#666; background:#fff; margin:0px 0px 0px 0px; padding:10px 10px 10px 30px; border-bottom: 1px dotted #000000; } .googleads{ width:520px; float:left; color:#666; background:#ffffff; margin:5px 0 5px 0px; padding:10px 0 10px 20px; border:none; } .similiar{ width:515px; float:left; color:#000000; text-align:justify; margin:5px auto; padding:5px 6px 10px; } .post-content { clear: both; padding: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-bottom: 10px; color: #545c66; border-bottom:1px dashed #646e7b; width:605px; overflow:hidden; } .post-contents { clear: both; padding: 5px; padding-top: 5px; color: #03121e; border-bottom:1px dotted #000000; } .navigation { clear: both; padding: 20px 0px 10px 0; } .navigation a, .navigation a:visited { color: #000000; } .previous-entries a { float: left; padding-left: 18px; } .next-entries a { float: right; padding-right: 18px; } /* comments */ #comments, #respond { padding: 10px 0 5px 0; clear: both; } .commentlist { margin: 10px 0px; padding-left: 20px; line-height: 130%; } .commentlist li{ padding: 5px 10px; } .commentlist .alt { color:#555555; background:#ffffff; } .commentlist cite, .commentlist cite a, .commentlist cite a:visited { font-style: normal; font-size: 14px; color: #91c308; } .commentlist small { margin-bottom: 5px; display: block; font-size: 87%; } #commentform { margin-top: 10px; font: 110% Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; } #commentform p { padding: 6px 0px; margin: 0px; } #commentform label{ color: #696c69; font-size: 87%; } #commentform input{ width: 200px; background:#FFFFFF; border: 1px solid #3a3a3a; padding: 3px; margin-top: 3px; } #commentform textarea{ width: 515px; height: 115px; background:#FFFFFF; border: 1px solid #3a3a3a; padding: 2px; margin-top: 3px; } #commentform textarea:focus, #commentform input[type="text"]:focus { background: #ffffff; } #commentform #submit{ background: #ffffff; font: bold 12px Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; color: #555555; border:1px solid #222222; float:left; width: 144px; height: 28px; cursor: pointer; } /*sidebar */ #sidebar { float: right; padding: 0px 0px 0px 0px; margin-top:39px; width: 340px; overflow: hidden; background:transparent; color:#efefef; text-align:right; direction:rtl; } #sidebar ul li .poll li {line-height:30px} #left { float: left; width: 168px; border:none; background:#ffffff; margin-top:1px; } #right { float: right; width: 160px; border:none; /*margin-right:5px;*/ background:#ffffff; margin-top:1px; } #rbox{ float:left; width:150px; border:none; background: #4f89d2; } #rbox .poll .poll_question{color:#000;padding:3px} #rbox .cloud{padding:5px} #rbox .cloud a{padding:0px 2px;} #rbox .cloud li{float:right;} #rbox .stat span{ color:#000 ; } #rbox .stat li{ font-size:11px; dispaly:block; } .about_box{ text-align:center; } .about_box #about{ text-align:right; margin:5px; color:#000; } #rbox .about_box ul li { padding:0px; } .about_box img{ width:148px; height:150px; /*margin:5px 10px 5px 0;*/ } /*Feedburner */ #sidebar h2, #feed .feedburner{ font: normal 16px "Verdana", Geneva, Arial,sans-serif; color: #ff9900; margin: 5px 0px 2px; background :transparent; padding-top:3px; border-bottom:1px solid #efefef; } /*sidebar title */ #sidebar h3, #sidebar .sidebartitle{ font: bold 14px "Verdana", Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; color: #ffffff; background:#4f89d2; padding:3px 3px 3px 7px; margin:1px 1px 1px 1px; border: 1px solid #757f8b; } #sidebar h4, #right .rights{ font: 14px "Verdana", Geneva, Arial,sans-serif; color: #ffffff; margin: 0px 0px 0px; padding:5px 5px 0 0; background :url(/public/public/user_data/template/25/images/sbg.jpg) no-repeat; padding-top:9px; padding-bottom:8px; font-weight:bold; } /*sidebar text styles */ #sidebar a, #sidebar a:visited{ color: #222222; font: 11px "tahoma", Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; text-decoration: none; } #sidebar a:hover{ color: #4F89D2; font: 11px "tahoma", Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; text-decoration: none; } #rbox a:hover{ color: #fff; font: 11px "tahoma", Geneva, Arial, sans-serif; text-decoration: none; } /*sidebar list level1 */ #sidebar ul { margin: 0; padding: 0; } #sidebar ul li { list-style: none; margin: 0; padding: 0; border: none; } /*sidebar list level2 */ #sidebar ul li ul { padding:0; margin: 0; } #sidebar ul li ul li{ padding: 3px 5px 3px 0px; border-bottom:1px dotted #4f89d2; } /*sidebar list level3 */ #sidebar ul li ul li ul li{ padding: 1px 0 1px 0px; border: none; } /*recent widget */ ul.list-rec li, li.bar_comments ul li { padding-left: 10px !important; } /*search form */ #searchform { margin: 0px ; left: 10px; float: letf; position: absolute; top: 10px; width:208px; } #searchform br { display: none; } #searchform #s { width: 131px; height: 18px; padding: 4px 5px 0px 5px; border: 1px solid #679fe4; margin-right: 2px; color: #cadff8; font-weight: normal; background: #5897e5; float:right; } /* search form button - to specify button only use input[type="submit"] */ #searchform input { border: 1px solid #679fe4; width: 60px; height: 24px; font: bold 12px Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; color: #86b7f3; vertical-align: middle; background: #5897e5; float:left; direction:rtl; padding:0; } /* page close */ #close { clear: both; background: #ffffff; line-height: 130%; padding-bottom: 0px; } #footer { background: #646e7b; color: #ffffff; width: 980px; border: 5px solid #646e7b; margin: 0px auto 0px; padding: 0px 0px 5px 0px; text-align: center; font-size: 10px; } #footer a, #footer a:visited{ color: #262627; text-decoration: none; text-decoration: underline; } #footer p{ padding:0 0 5px; } #footer p a, #footer p a:visited{ color:#fff; text-decoration:none; } #footer a:hover{ color: #262627; text-decoration: underline; } /* alignments */ .center { text-align: center; } img.center, img[align="center"] { display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; } .alignleft { float: left; } img.alignleft, img[align="left"] { float:left; margin: 2px 10px 5px 0px; } .alignright { float: right; } img.alignright, img[align="right"] { float:right; margin: 2px 0px 5px 10px; } .clear { clear:both; } hr.clear { clear:both; visibility: hidden; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; } acronym, abbr, span.caps { cursor: help; } acronym, abbr { border-bottom: 1px dashed #999; } .clearfix {display: inline-block;} .clearfix:after { content: "."; display: block; height: 0; clear: both; visibility: hidden; } * html .clearfix {height: 1%;} .clearfix {display: block;} .owner_photo { color:#fff; float:right; margin:5px; } .sociable ul{ list-style-image:none; list-style-position:inside; list-style-type:inherit; } .mihan_logo{ background: url(/public/public/images/logo/poweredby.gif) no-repeat top center; text-align:center; height:131px; margin-top:10px; width:150px; } .page_box ul { direction:rtl; height:17px; margin:3px auto; max-width:560px; text-align:left; list-style:none; padding:0 3px; } .page_box ul{ height:17px; } .page_box li{ float:right; margin-right:5px; } .page_box a{ border:1px solid #CCCCCC; display:block; line-height:17px; text-align:center; width:17px; } .page_box a b{ color:#fff; background:#4F89D2 none repeat scroll 0 0; display:block; line-height:17px; text-align:center; width:17px; color:#fff; } .general{ font-family:tahoma; font-size:12px; margin:20px 15px; padding:10px; line-height:20px; } .btn{ cursor:pointer; float:none; font-family:Tahoma; font-size:12px; font-size-adjust:none; font-stretch:normal; font-style:normal; font-variant:normal; font-weight:normal; height:26px; text-align:center; margin:10px 0; -x-system-font:none; background:#5897E5 none repeat scroll 0 0; border:1px solid #679FE4; color:#FFFFFF; direction:rtl; line-height:normal; padding:0; vertical-align:middle; padding:0 5px; margin:15px 0; } #parentheses p{ float:right; padding:0px 1px; margin:0px; direction:rtl; text-align:right; } .cb_share{ text-align:left; } .cb_share a{ font-size:11px; text-decoration:none } .cb_share a img{ padding:0 0 0 5px; } همه جوره - مطالب ابر قهقهه

مشترک گرامی زود دستا بالا!

نوشته شده در تاریخ جمعه 9 بهمن 1388    | توسط: امیرحسین طا...    | طبقه بندی: جک و لطیفه،     | نظرات()
ارسال به ارسال به 100 درجه کلوب دات کام

جک ولطیفه

یه روز یه تركه رو از استخر میندازن بیرون. دوستاش بهش میگن چرا انداختنت بیرون؟ میگه آخه شاشیدم! دوستاش بهش میگن آخه كس خول، توی استخر همه میشاشن ولی كسی نم یفهمه. میگه آخه من از همون بالا شاشیدم!

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تركه خانوم بلند كرده بوده ،نمیدونسته چطور سر صحبت رو باز كنه. هرچی فكر م یكنه هیچی به نظرش نمیرسه. یه كم پسته تو ماشین داشته، میگیره جلو زنه، میگه: جنده! پسته بخور!


ادامه مطلب
نوشته شده در تاریخ پنجشنبه 8 بهمن 1388    | توسط: امیرحسین طا...    | طبقه بندی: جک و لطیفه،     | نظرات()
ارسال به ارسال به 100 درجه کلوب دات کام